Gay Tibet

Homosexuality, Marriage, and Religion in Tibet: An Endlessly Complicated Situation

2009-08-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

July 20, 2009
Posted by Jeff Wilson

Originally posted on tricycle

A post which Tricycle editor James Shaheen recently wrote at the Huffington Post blog has picked up a good bit of attention around the internet. James’s subject was the Dalai Lama’s views on gay marriage, which, as he rightly discussed, are quite a complicated matter. In part this stems from the utterly different cultural and religious assumptions about sexuality that monks raised in traditional Tibetan culture bring to the discussion, vs. the cultural and religious assumptions of Western gay rights advocates (or, for that matter, Western opponents of gay marriage).

These differences aren’t just around same-sex relations, but also include differing ideas about what marriage is, why one enters into it, what role (if any) religion plays in defining or sanctioning marriage, and so on. For example, polygamy was common and accepted in traditional Tibet, often taking the form of polyandry–marriage by a woman to two or more men, especially brothers within the same family. This form of marriage still persists today in Tibetan cultural areas less directly touched by official Chinese policies. One could argue that the Dalai Lama has as much right to demand that gay rights advocates get over their “polyphobia” and start explicitly agitating for American government legal recognition of polygamy as they have to demand he get rid of his “homophobia.” Meanwhile, Buddhism had very little to do with marriage in Tibet–there was no standard wedding ceremony officiated by monks, for instance, or indeed any ceremony at all in many cases. And those ceremonies that did exist were not white dresses and organ music. In one Tibetan ethnic group, for example, the wedding consisted of the groom’s friends suddenly abducting the bride against her will and without her foreknowledge, and physically holding her captive in his house during the ritual (if her parents objected to the match–often to a man the bride had never met–they could sue for her return). When we use the word “marriage” we must recognize that whole universes of unspoken and unshared meaning contextualize its use in different parts of the West and different parts of the Tibetan cultural area.

And the situation is further complicated by Western misunderstandings about the role and power of the Dalai Lama, who (despite persistent media representations to the contrary) is very much less than the “pope” of Buddhism, or even Tibetan Buddhism, or even, technically, his own sect of Tibetan Buddhism. Few Westerners even understand that the Dalai Lama is a relatively recent innovation in Tibetan Buddhism, and that his power and authority (and often even his identity) have always been contested. Wars have been repeatedly fought between the Dalai Lamas and competing monastic lineages, with armed monks as major combatants. Coercive armed force was always a significant factor in the Dalai Lama maintaining his status within Tibet. While the current Dalai Lama is a man of genuinely impressive charisma and wisdom, and rightly deserves the attention as a spiritual figure that he widely receives, it seems worthwhile to bear these historical facts in mind.

But for now let’s just stick to the issue of homosexual relations and religion. These are certainly complicated enough in themselves, and Western lack of access to the sources makes it even harder. Most people assume that the rules come from the Vinaya, the code of monastic regulations allegedly laid down by the Buddha himself. However, there are many multiple sets of these Vinaya, with differences between them. Virtually all commentators in English refer to the Theravada Vinaya when discussing these rules, but they hold no authority in Tibet. Rather, the Tibetan sangha is based on the Vinaya of the Mulasarvastivada school, which almost no Westerner has ever encountered. Even this isn’t a particularly reliable source for sussing out the root of the Dalai Lama’s or other monk’s notions about proper sexual conduct, because actually most of these ideas come not from Vinaya directly but from later (sometimes much, much later) commentaries by authorative monks of the Indo-Tibetan tradition. Few of these texts are available in English. Furthermore, monks as a practical matter don’t typically follow the Vinaya itself, but focus instead on the codes of conduct of their particular monasteries, which not only diverge significantly from the Vinaya but are different from monastery to monastery. And to top it all off, much of your average Tibetan’s attitudes are derived from general cultural wisdom about such things, in the same manner that your average Westerner is influenced not merely by ancient religious texts but a whole stew of culturally-conditioned “common sense” notions, pop culture trends, regional orientations, and so on.

But what can we say about monks and homosexuality? Gay monks were common in traditional Tibet (and every other Buddhist culture) and were an accepted part of society, without there being any legal form of “gay marriage” or indeed any modern concept of “homosexual orientation.” We can see this for instance in the public popularity of drombos. Drombo is a Tibetan term for a passive homosexual partner, often someone in a close relationship with a monk. Tibetan socio-religious attitudes considered penetration to be unacceptable violation of monastic celibacy rules, whether or not the persons involved were same or opposite gender. So the commonly-accepted workaround was for a monk to form a relationship with a drombo, who might be a younger monk or someone from the society at large (the dancers of the Dalai Lama’s personal troupe were considered especially desirable as drombo). Instead of oral or anal sex in the usual Western mode, drombo and their monastic patrons engaged in a modified form of the missionary position–the drombo lay on his back with his thighs crossed, and the monk ejaculated by moving his penis back and forth between them. No penetration, hence no violation of the rules.

Far from being an underground practice, this was a socially accepted form of interaction between males, and had no relationship to sexual or personal identity as such. While the monks in the active roles were frequently gay in the sense that Westerners now understand the term, the drombo himself often had no sexual attraction to men. Rather, the drombo received patronage from the monk, something very important in the heirarchical society of traditional Tibet. A drombo became the ward of his patron and would often receive substantial benefit to his career and status through this association (i.e. a “heterosexual” male drombo serving as a passive homosexual partner received not stigma but overt social benefit). That drombos were steered through Tibetan social circles by their patrons demonstrates the entirely above-the-board nature of these same-sex relationships: everyone knew that the drombo was being supported by monk so-and-so precisely because he was a drombo, and this was seen as perfectly natural. In fact, sometimes a drombo would become so well-known as a lover that various high-placed monks would fight over him, even sending subordinate warrior monks (dobdobs) out to kidnap him in order to force the drombo to switch to a new patron.

To understand this situation, let us try a thought experiment. Imagine, if you will, that a prominent religious figure–such as, say, Rev. Jerry Falwell–is also the Secretary of the Treasury. His religious commitments prevent him from having penetrative sex with another person, so he makes an offer to one of Britney Spears’s male back-up dancers, Marvin Smith. Smith and his brothers are already married to a woman and have a son (and no one knows or cares who the “actual” father is), but accepts Falwell’s offer and starts having modified sex with him in order to get introduced to important figures in the Washington political scene, which will benefit the whole family. The two of them are often seen together at public functions and word gets around that the dancer is a great lover, so Rev. Jim Banks–who is serving as the Secretary of State–orders some martial arts-trained deacons from his church to abduct Smith to become his sex-slave, an act that takes place in broad daylight on the streets in front of the White House, and which is soon the talk of the town, with no political or religious repercussions for anyone involved. Meanwhile, all of this takes place quite publicly in a society at the social and material level of approximately 14th century Europe.

Does this scenario seem difficult to comprehend to you? If so, you may want to withhold from making knee-jerk judgements (pro or con) about the Dalai Lama’s views on gay marriage, as this is the type of situation he is coming from when he talks about the matter. In other words, his context for talking about religion, sex, homosexuality, morality, codes of conduct, identity, and gender relations is not the same as that of his Western interviewers, nor is there any reason to expect that it would be–and it is different in ways that few Westerners, including Buddhist practitioners, have even the slightest inkling of, and has absolutely no original connection to concepts of “rights.”

And just to prove that homosexuality, marriage, and religion in Tibet are endlessly complicated: the Sixth Dalai Lama, who is believed to have been reborn as the current Dalai Lama, was widely known to be flamboyantly bisexual. All of this points to a basic truth: trying to understand where someone else from another culture is coming from (both for gay rights advocates and the Dalai Lama himself) can be a truly daunting task, requiring much humility and willingness to continually reflect on how little one actually knows about the details of the other’s background circumstances. There’s really only one statement we can make with full accuracy about studying Buddhism and its traditional cultures, whether it be political protests by monks in Burma, same-sex relations in Tibet, or Japanese priests chanting sutras in a bar: things are always more complex than we realize them to be.

Gay Tibet has a new home

2009-02-18T01:03:00.002-08:00

Now Gay Tibet has an excellent new Social networking group where you can chat, share pictures, share videos, create your own unique page, start a blog and socialize with other Tibetans and non Tibetans from around the world. Join this unique members only group for completely free.

Meet, share, tell your stories, make new friends... Click here to Join

Taiwan Pride 2008

2008-09-23T04:39:00.000-07:00

Taiwan Pride is the annual gay pride parade in Taiwan, The parade was first held in 2003. Although joined by groups from all over the country, the primary location has always been the city of Taipei. The parade, held in October 2007, attracted between 10,000 and 15,000 participants, making it the largest gay pride event in Asia.

This year's parade will take place on 27 September. More about the event and programmes here.

I deserve love too ya'll

2008-09-08T04:08:00.000-07:00

Buddhism and Homosexuality

2008-08-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

Homosexuality is the tendency to be sexually attracted to persons of the same rather than the opposite gender. According to the ancient Indian understanding, homosexuals were thought of simply as being ‘the third nature’ (trtiya prakti), rather than as perverted, deviant or sick. With its emphasis on psychology and cause and effect, Buddhism judges acts, including sexual acts, primarily by the intention (cetana) behind them and the effect they have. A sexual act motivated by love, mutuality and the desire to give and share would be judged positive no matter what the gender of the two persons involved. Therefore, homosexuality as such is not considered immoral in Buddhism or against the third Precept, although this is not always understood in traditional Buddhist countries.

More from Dhamma Musings

The Nigah Queer Fest '08 New Delhi

2008-08-12T03:23:00.000-07:00

www.TheQueerFest.com

Free Tibet 2008 TV!

2008-08-12T03:18:00.000-07:00

Free Tibet 2008 TV

A 24-hour on-demand internet TV station, a one-stop news and analysis resource for Tibetans, Tibet supporters, and others concerned about human rights connected to (and during) the Beijing Olympics. One World, One Dream, Free Tibet!

www.FT08.tv

Boycott start of Olympics, Desmond Tutu urges leaders

2008-04-18T03:00:00.000-07:00

SAN FRANCISCO -- Nobel Peace Prize laureate Desmond Tutu said Tuesday he supported international protests surrounding the Olympic torch and urged world leaders to boycott the games' opening ceremony in Beijing over China's human rights record.

The retired Anglican archbishop from South Africa also called on China to negotiate with the Dalai Lama, the Tibetan spiritual leader and fellow Nobel Peace Prize winner, who is seeking autonomy for Tibet.

Tutu praised protesters who have put themselves on the line in Paris, San Francisco and elsewhere to protest last month's crackdown in Tibet, which claimed as many as 140 lives.

In particular, he applauded three climbers who hung pro-Tibet banners Monday from the Golden Gate Bridge.

"I salute them," he said.

Tutu was in San Francisco to receive the Outspoken Award from the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission for his work on behalf of gay and lesbian rights.

The group praised Tutu for challenging homophobia within the Anglican Church, which has been sharply divided over the acceptance of gay and lesbian clergy.

Continue

Tibetan independence supporter Xiao Tan, right, and his girlfriend Miao-Chih Tsai, battle with pro-Comminist China supporters to keep the "banned in TIbet" Tibetan National flag along the start of the Olympic torch relay in San Francisco.

One World One Dream

2008-04-18T00:53:00.000-07:00

After decades of repression, Tibetans are crying out to the world for change. China's leaders are right now making a crucial choice between escalating repression or dialogue that could determine the future of Tibet, and China.

We can affect this historic choice -- China does care about its international reputation. But it will take an avalanche of global people power to get the government's attention. The Dalai Lama has called for restraint and dialogue: he needs the world's people to support him. Sign the petition below--It has been delivered at Chinese embassies and consulates worldwide, and will continue to grow and be delivered until talks begin.

CLICK HERE to sign an online petion to the Chinese President Hu Jintao

As citizens around the world, we call on you to show restraint and respect for human rights in your response to the protests in Tibet, and to address the concerns of all Tibetans by opening meaningful dialogue with the Dalai Lama. Only dialogue and reform will bring lasting stability. China's brightest future, and its most positive relationship with the world, lies in harmonious development, dialogue and respect.

Beijing Wide Open

2007-08-05T08:42:00.001-07:00

Beijing Wide Open

Rooted - Dharamsala

2007-06-28T05:50:00.000-07:00

10 year old Mingyur from Cornwall visits the Tibetan community in India to discover her Tibetan roots. She spins prayer wheels, checks out some Tibetan dance moves, and has a monsoon water fight. She also meets the 17th Karmapa and asks his advice on growing up in England.

Enrique Eglesis

2007-06-12T05:45:00.001-07:00

Can I say something?

2007-05-13T04:00:00.000-07:00

A tribute to the recent Free Tibet protestors of US based Students for a Free Tibet, who put up a great stunt at the base camp of Mount Everest in Tibet.

Details of the events: Click here

Pu Bajia - Tibetan star in Shanghai

2007-04-20T03:33:00.000-07:00

Pu Bajia is a Tibetan actor and a singer. He was one of the winners of Chinese Reality TV show called My Hero. The show's sponsored by LYCRA and was part of a China-wide integrated marketing campaign. The show itself featured Chinese nationals singing, dancing and performing in front of a studio audience and a judging panel.

Where is Gendun Choekyi Nyima?

2007-04-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

Where is Gendun Choekyi Nyima, His Holiness the 11th Panchen Lama?
Click here to know more

The Masseur

2007-04-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

Film Title: The Masseur (Phillipino title: Masahista)
Directed by Brillante Mendoza
Language: Tagalog, Country: Phillipines

Following the death of his father and a chance meeting with an abusive romance novelist, a masseur working in a gay massage parlor struggles to make sense of his unfulfilling relationships while simultaneously assisting his mother in preparing his father for burial. Twenty-year-old Iliac (Coco Martin) may not be the best masseur in the parlor, but when he catches the eye of a cold and calculated romance novelist looking for a cheap thrill, the icy indifference displayed by his paying lover does little more to warm the spirits than his sexually charged but emotionally distant girlfriend. Despite the resentment Iliac feels towards his late father for abandoning the family and embarking on a suicidal alcohol binge, the lovelorn youth nevertheless makes the journey home to be there for his grieving mother in her time of need. As he prepares his father for burial and his mind wanders back to the previous night's encounter at the massage parlor, Iliac's increasingly complex love life disturbingly begins to mirror his troubled family life. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

A band called Rangzen

2007-04-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

Rangzen means freedom in Tibetan. Here's a band called Rangzen based in Italy. Official website.

CSNY tribute by Rangzen

China's first gay TV show premieres online

2007-04-09T09:10:00.000-07:00

At the risk of appearing as though we are once again fellating the "gay agenda", we thought we'd point out the interesting news announced Thursday that China aired its first program about gay and lesbian issues ... online. The show is called 同性相连 in Chinese and Gay Connections in English (although the Chinese press release calls the program Connecting Homosexual People) and it premiered its first episode of a 12-part weekly series on April 5 at 3 pm.

The producer of the show, Gang Gang (刚刚), claims it is the first Chinese first show of its kind to focus on gay issues and the first with an openly homosexual host. The program is hosted by AIDS activist Didier Zheng, of the Chi Heng foundation (pictured left, with Gang Gang on the right). It appears that the makers of the show, purposely chose to air the program online rather than face the possibility of being censored on broadcast TV.

The show debuted on Hong Kong-based Phoenix Television's website featuring an interview with Qiao Qiao (乔乔), the lesbian singer of the song "爱不分" or "Love Doesn't Discriminate". She is also the owner of Beijing's oldest lesbian bar, called "Pipe".
To the extent of Shanghaiist's knowledge, the program is not archived and can only be viewed at its designated timeslot of Thursdays at 3 pm. For more information, check out the homepage of Gay Connections (in Chinese).

Source: Shanghaiist

Gay in Lhasa

2007-04-06T22:05:00.000-07:00

April 6, 2007
By Dinah Gardner

Fridae’s Beijing correspondent Dinah Gardner travels to Lhasa, Tibet and speaks to young gay and lesbian Tibetans about their lives in the city's small yet flourishing queer scene.

How gay friendly is the Dalai Lama? Well, the charismatic exiled leader of Tibet says he supports gay and lesbian rights. But only for non-Buddhists. Same-sex intercourse, he says, is simply wrong for believers of his faith. In that case, he might be a tad unhappy then, to learn that Lhasa, capital of his estranged Himalayan kingdom, now has a small yet flourishing queer scene.

Click here for the full report

Tibetan Nomad Music

2007-03-21T11:46:00.000-07:00

Tenzin Choegyal draws on his traditional Tibetan roots to create music which expresses his thoroughly modern life. Since his world music debut in 1997 in Australia, Tenzin’s cantering rhythms, soaring vocals and flute have enchanted audiences around the globe.

In the recent years Tenzin has worked with numerous prominent Australian musicians from many different genres:Michael Askill, Shen Flindell, Spiros Rantos, Ash Grunwald, Paul Coppen, Stringmansassy, Oscar and Marigold, Riley Lee, James Coats , Tsering Dorjee Bawa, Baattar Sukh, Cathedral Band, Marchelo Milani and Monks of Tibet allow Tenzin room to experiment with rhythm and structure, to challenge deeply entrenched Tibetan musical norms and find a place in the complex tapestry of global sounds.

Tenzin plays the dranyen (long necked lute), lingbu (transverse flutes) various ritual objects and is well-known for his extraordinary vocal ability.

Tenzin's Myspace

Asian Eye Candies at GT Yahoo Group

2007-03-21T11:13:00.000-07:00

Gay Lhasa

2007-03-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

The population of Lhasa is about 200,000 (that's about 8,000 Utopians - members of the website Utopia Asia).
Popular Cruising spot
Park located at the back of the Potala Palace. Usually you can meet people after 9pm at the facilities there, including gay Tibetans.

For Tibet Message Forums and Travel Links and other Gay China resources go to Utopia

Source: Utopia Asia

Rangzen

2007-03-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

Who's this dude? It's one hot video!
P.S. If I'm not wrong this is Tenzn Thokmey. More info on this artist can be found here.

Tibetan Annecy

2007-03-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

March 10: Out of Exile, Into the Streets!

2007-03-06T05:47:00.000-08:00

RISE UP, RESIST, RETURN

It's time for us to RISE UP and get out of the monotony of our day-to-day exile life and get into the streets to protest China's continued illegal occupation of Tibet.

The Chinese government wants the world to believe our fight is over. They say Tibet is a part of China and Tibetans are happy under Chinese rule. We must RESIST their lies and fight back. Our people continue to suffer each and every day - denied their basic human rights and freedom.
March10.ORG

Lhasa Today

2007-03-06T04:10:00.000-08:00

Yes, the Tibetan capital city of Lhasa has been tranformed -- into yet another sprawling Chinese metropolis, complete with brothels, karaoke bars, nightclubs, mass tourism and shopping arcades. The majority of economic benefits from these recent developments are reaped by Han Chinese migrants rather than the ethnic Tibetans to whom the land belongs. To see the full photo report by Adam Dean Click Here.

His Holiness Advices

2007-02-27T04:14:00.000-08:00

Forbidden Fruit

2007-02-27T00:36:00.000-08:00

Gay Asian men talk about their experiences - coming out, love, life, sex, fun, society, etc.

21st London Lesbian and Gay Film Fest.

2007-02-22T15:24:00.000-08:00

21st London Lesbian & Gay Film Festival Official Website.

It's that time of the year again.

2007-02-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

Visit the March10.org site and know more about the significance of this day in the tragic story of Tibet. Tibetans in exile and their supporters across the globe have been observing March 10th since the 1960s as a comemoration of the sacrifices and risks that thousands of Tibetans took when they tried to resist Chinese invasion in 1959 in Lhasa.

In the last few years, the Tibetan Government in exile has been cautious of Chinese reactions to these actions of protests in exile. The TGIE in a rather silly move, had even adviced Tibetans and Tibet activists, all over the world not to get into heavy serious protests. This, some say is in inorder to please the Chinese and make way for some kind of a dialogue between the leaders of TGIE and China.

This year's March 10 protest plans are underway across the globe, spear-headed by Students for a Free Tibet in New York. On their website, they announce: "IT’S TIME TO TAKE MARCH 10 BACK! Help us make 2007 the biggest March 10 observation since 1959. We’ll show China, and the world, Tibetan resistance lives on."

Happy Losar

2007-02-18T18:16:00.000-08:00

China’s gays call for same sex marriage

2007-02-15T11:09:00.000-08:00

By Dinah Gardner

During a busy lunch hour on Valentine’s Day in Beijing’s central business district, six lesbians and gays handed out 200 red carnations wrapped in leaflets calling for the acceptance of gay love and marriage. A Beijing exclusive by Dinah Gardner.

A group of gays and lesbians in Beijing have held the country’s first public appeal for the support of same sex marriage in China.

A gay man handing out red carnations wrapped in leaflets calling for the acceptance of gay love and marriage in Beijing’s central business district on Feb 14. (Photo by Dinah Gardner)
During a busy lunch hour on Valentine’s Day in Beijing’s central business district, around half a dozen lesbians and gays handed out 200 red carnations wrapped in leaflets calling for the acceptance of gay love and marriage.

“Love has no boundaries; it is nothing to do with gender,” the flyer read. “We are homosexuals. We also want a life together with our loved one… please support all kinds of partnerships and all kinds of love. Please support same sex marriage.”

This kind of action is very unusual in China; unauthorised public protests are usually broken up the police. In 2005 a gay and lesbian culture festival was broken up by the police on the grounds the organisers had not sought permission to hold the event.

“We were concerned about security, we had lots of meetings about that,” said Xian, one of the protest’s lesbian organisers.

“This is different, our action can be considered kind of political. So we chose this area because we think there will be less police here. Also there are a lot of white collar workers here, higher educated people, the group we are seeking support from.” Their protest, which lasted about 20 minutes, went ahead undisturbed.

Many of those who accepted the flowers said they supported the action and gay marriage in China.

“I think it's only fair; it's everybody's right to get married,” said Liu Peng, a 21-year-old student of banking. “I support them. I think it's great."

"I don’t know when China will have gay marriage,” he added. “Not now, but in the future I think China will have gay marriage but I can't say when, maybe far in the future." Lie said he was not gay.

Rain Xia, a 25-year-old straight male said: “It's kind of surprising to get this kind of thing [public call for gay marriage]. I never expected it was this. But I can understand them and I support them. It's a human right for everyone to be able to get married.”

But not everyone was so sympathetic. His colleague, Christina Wang, said she did not support the protest.

“I don't support this because of my religion,” the 31-year-old headhunter, who is married, said. “I am a Christian and I don't think it's right. I don't think it's healthy to be gay."

Xian said she felt it was the right time to make this kind of protest because China’s gays and lesbians are growing more confident.

“We're doing it now because there are now so many lesbians ready to come out and to stand up for their rights,” she said. “When we started organising this we had no trouble at all finding people. In fact we had trouble finding boys.” Only one gay man helped hand out flowers.

Ming Ming, who was helping to film the protest, said she was surprised how attitudes towards gays have changed over the past few years.

“Compared to a few years ago people seem more open to gays and gay marriage and more accepting. The change is really noticeable.”

Xian said she was happy with the way the protest had gone.

“I think it was a success,” she said. “People said they supported us. One girl took a flower and said it’s great because she’s a lesbian too.”

While life has become easier for China’s urban gays and lesbians and the media has become more queer friendly, many homosexuals still end up in conventional marriages because of familial and societal pressure.

Renowned sexologist, Li Yinhe, has submitted proposals to legalise gay marriage in China three times at the annual meeting of parliament. Each proposal was rejected. The country’s gays and lesbians were hoping she would submit a fourth proposal this month, but Li wrote in a recent blog entry that she was retiring from campaigning for sexuality-related civil rights because of pressure from her higher-ups. The professor at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences as once listed as one of China's 50 Most Influential People by Asiaweek magazine.

“Gay marriage is not something that our country can accept at this stage of its cultural development,” wrote Li. “History will change when it must. And perhaps I will only be able to be a bystander when the change comes, rather than a participant.”

Beleive it or not - Rinpoche Rapper

2007-02-14T21:39:00.000-08:00

Ever Heard of someone named Singa Rinpoche? Apparently he is a young Tibetan lama obsessed with glamour and had a fan following even before he crossed over into art and business. His latest venture is a music CD titled "Wish you Well" released in Taiwan by Forward Music.

The genre is R n B and Rinpoche mixes Tibetan Buddhist chants with modern R n B sound sung my himself. In his songs he uses three languages - Chinese, Tibetan and English.

Rinpoche claims to have studied Tibetan Buddhism in India and Nepal for three years. He is currently 30 years old and is banned from entering Taiwan due to his bad behavior on a previous visit to Taipei.

Anyways whether we approve of him or not, his music is a sure hit and he is hot. One more name to our list of Tibetan celebrity Rinpoches. Who else is out there? Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche from Bhutan, Neten Chokling Rinpoche...

Listen to the tracks here

Watch his music video here

Amaechi's Coming out story

2007-02-14T05:51:00.000-08:00

In a groundbreaking revelation that began to reverberate around the NBA on Wednesday, former player John Amaechi has become the first professional basketball player to openly identify himself as gay.

Amaechi, who played at Penn State and spent five seasons in the NBA with Orlando, Utah and Cleveland, comes out in an upcoming book entitled "Man in the Middle" to be released later this month by ESPN Books (owned by the Walt Disney Company, parent company of ESPN).

Click here for for the full ESPN Report

Completely out of the Closet - An Interview

2007-01-12T04:24:00.000-08:00

Phayul[Thursday, January 11, 2007 16:41] “We are not special” says Tenzin Jigdel (name changed), a Tibetan Gay who finds no reasons to hide his identity from anyone.
By Tenzin Dickyi

This six-striped rainbow flag is sometimes called 'the freedom flag', and has been used as a symbol of gay and lesbian pride since the 1970s. The different colors symbolize diversity in the gay community, and the flag is often used as a symbol of gay pride in gay rights marches. It originated in the United States, but is now used around the world.

The subject of homosexuality definitely remains a taboo in our society like in many countries. We have denied to acknowledge the existence of such people in our society who too like us crave for openness and freedom. People generally find it very difficult to comprehend what homosexuality is all about. Their first reaction always remains weird and many thinks marriage is the only ‘cure’ for such behaviour. Parents are the one who usually takes longer to make peace with this aspect and still hope that their son or daughter will come out of this ‘phase’. But it takes so much for a homosexual person to accept what you are because everything doesn’t happen the way you want. However they become a happy soul when society accepts them as what they are because they are just an ordinary person. And Knowledge is the key. Educating and informing all people about sexual orientation and homosexuality can only trim down and break these prejudices in any society.

Mr. Tenzin Jigdel recently unfolded some real truths about himself as being a Tibetan Gay to phayul. And we hope that this interview will positively demystify some myths, hopefully trigger certain change and establish some home truths about homosexuality in our society.

First of all can you please tell us something about yourself?

Well, I am a Tibetan youth born and brought up in exile in Dharamsala. I attended the Tibetan Children’s Village School. I am currently a post graduate student seeking a degree in Media studies.
I come from a very ordinary Tibetan family and both my parents have been civil servants all their lives for the Tibetan Government in Exile.
I am a very down to earth, kind hearted person, single and seeking and I keep high interests in the field of arts.

Tell me a bit about how and when you first realized that you have attraction towards men?

I realized I was gay quite early on in my life. Initially in grades two or three, I still recollect that I would have infatuations towards both girls and boys but during my early teens, it struck me that I was more and more attracted towards boys. Later on around the age of 13 or 14, I would constantly have a crush on this boy or the other. Of-course they were all teenage crushes but the urges were strong and real.

During those early years, I was confused; there was no one to tell me what it’s like being gay. I thought I was some kind of a freak falling for boys rather than girls. I badly needed some answers at that time but there was no one to turn to. I went into the school library to find some references and as you would expect there was none.

Somehow a copy of the book, Teleny or Reverse of the Medal came into my hands. I don’t remember where and how I found it. The story of that novel was set in Paris in the late 1800s and it was a love story between a young French man and a Hungarian pianist. Strangely the book was sort of the first thing that introduced me to the gay world. It was a very erotic and an exciting novel which is rumored to have been partly written by Oscar Wilde.

In passing during my childhood, no one really spoke about homosexuality. It seemed as if even talking about it was a sin. The only time I’d hear the words gay or homos were in bad jokes. I kept it all to myself until the time I left home after high school.

During my late teens, like other boys and girls, I too began to explore my sexuality. I’d had many encounters with my school mates where we would have mutual sexual indulgence which at later stages in our lives we all rather not talk about or pretend as if it’d never happened. But those encounters were a way of re-affirming my own identity as a young gay man.

In the last years of my high school, I was a wrecked teenager – confused and lost. Even though I had realized that I was gay long ago, I still haven’t found much answer to my questions. Soon I’d be graduating and let out into the world but I was really not sure where to start from.

Several months into my last year of high school, I fell in love again for the nth time. This time I am not sure if it was not just a crush in passing but I desired this young boy so much that I couldn’t resist him. We were close friends of a sort and there was this incident where I came on to him. This was a real shocker for him I guess. He just completely disowned me as a friend and told my other friends about me. I don’t blame him much for that because after all he’s also a Tibetan born and brought up in a conservative society. He was young and was not exposed to many things in the world.

But somehow it totally blew my world upside down. High school was a hell hole - word soon spread through out my friends circle and it seemed like the whole school knew about my orientation. I went through the worst time of my life then. Many of the friends I have been close to for years, all of a sudden, decided not to be friends with me anymore and since I was just a kid back then, I took those things very seriously and I was devastated.

I felt like running away as far as I can. I was ashamed and scandalized but solutions there were none. So the only thing that helped me survive that last year of high school was to stay close to the friends who did decide to stand by me. I loved them dearly and they are still the most important people in my life even now.

Read the full Interview

Tibetan children keeping their culture

2007-01-09T23:35:00.000-08:00

Tibet Connection is The First English Language Radio Magazine About Tibet
Airing the last Friday of each month on KPFK 90.7 FM Los Angeles
98.7 FM Santa Barbara & streaming live at kpfk.org

Sample Program:

Tibetan children keeping their culture alive in Los Angeles
Tibetan kids in LA voice their opinions and thoughts about Tibetan culture, language, identity and politics. Very cute and heartwarming report.

Click here to listen or right click and Choose Save as to Download the program.

More Programs here on the official Tibet Conection Website

The Dalai Lama and Sexual Minorities: A Personal View

2006-12-30T08:44:00.000-08:00

According to Buddhist Tradition: Sexual Minority Buddhists and the Definition of Sexual Misconduct

Updated article by Steve Peskind bublished on Heartland.SG

According to Buddhist Tradition: Sexual Minority Buddhists and the Definition of Sexual Misconduct” copyright Steve Peskind, 1999 (The original version of this newly revised and edited article appeared in the Shambhala Sun Magazine, May, 1998.) This article may be re-printed in publication with permission of the writer.

June 11, 1997: Leaving the Fairmount Hotel in San Francisco, having just met with the Dalai Lama, the words, “according to Buddhist tradition” reverberated in my head. Stepping out into the June sunlight, I felt tired, calm, enormously grateful–and disappointed. I was grateful for the Dalai Lama’s willingness to meet with gays and lesbians to discuss their concerns about Buddhist teachings on sexual misconduct, and for the press release from the Office of Tibet supporting human rights “regardless of sexual orientation.” But I was disappointed that he chose not to speak personally and directly, beyond Buddhist “tradition”, to the real harm of some of these traditional misconduct teachings, and their irrelevance for modern Buddhists and others. I wondered, does the Dalai Lama, who many consider the embodiment of Avalokiteshvara, who “hears the cries of all sentient beings and responds skillfully,” really hear the cries of sexual minority Buddhists?

Continue Reading...

P.S. As a Tibetan, it was painful to read this article. I began to wonder, should these Western Buddhists really ought to ask these questions to His Holiness? On second thought, may be it is something that needs to be dealt with - atleast at some point.

Coming out on Christmas Eve

2006-12-23T21:39:00.000-08:00

Yes, we Tibetans don't celebrate Christmas but since most of us live in countries where Christmas is a big deal, we can't help but share the joy. Ofcourse the holiday season just pulls you in and gives us another reason to celebrate and be merry. Well, we take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope that the year that follows bring you joy and happiness.

Beijing 2008 - Race for Tibet

2006-12-19T03:09:00.000-08:00

According to the Olympic Charter, established by Pierre de Coubertin, the goal of the Olympic Movement is to contribute to building a peaceful and better world by educating youth through sport practised without discrimination of any kind and in the Olympic spirit, which requires mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity and fair play.

Does China Know this?
Beijing 2008 - Race for Tibet
www.racefortibet.org

Two fathers

2006-12-17T04:56:00.000-08:00

A song about two fathers - to Diederick and Bas...

White Winter

2006-12-17T00:57:00.000-08:00

I decided to go out last night to celebrate after having completed a long project on which I have been working for months. The moment I walked out of my apartment, it started snowing. Like always last night's snowfall came without warning and the mood out in the street changed instantly - the snow had some kind of magical effect on all of us. Couples started kissing each other and lots of people were on the phone calling their friends and family. The snow gave each one us a reason to reconnect with people who we love.

Anyways I was alone and on my part I started to wonder who I could call - family or a friend. Sadly, no one in particular came up in my mind. It was weird that when I looked around the block, everyone was in pairs. A boy and a girl hugging and kissing, a boy and a boy sharing a smoke. It was quite a beautiful sight.

I then took a cab and went to my favourite bar. Right outside the bar, my favourite waiter and his boyfriend holding hands, called out my name and said, "Tenzin, come in fast, it's really getting cold outside." I am home now I thought...

Very Sweet

2006-12-17T00:34:00.000-08:00

Tibetan American Foundation of Minnesota dance group
Boys and Girls practicing for a show. Keep it up you guys...

My Goodness

2006-12-17T00:03:00.000-08:00

Taksha Shoenpa

Advantages of getting it cut

2006-12-14T08:42:00.000-08:00

A new breakthrough research has proved what doctors and campaigners have suspected for years. Circumcision can cut down HIV risks by halve. Yesterday Kevin de Cock (Oops), head of the World Health Organisation's HIV/Aids department, said it could cut the numbers of infected men by "many tens of thousands, many hundreds of thousands and maybe millions over coming years".

Click here to read the full article – The Guardian

Tibetans do not practice circumcision. Are there any specific cultural reasons for that? Almost all Muslims and people from Jewish faith are cut. Hindus generally don’t and Christians differ largely depending on which tradition they belong to.

A survey shows that South Korea has the largest absolute number of teenage and adult circumcisions anywhere in the world. About 75% all men in South Korea may be circumcised.

Come Undone – Movie Clip

Gorgeous, bronzed bodies on the beaches of France and a passionate romance between two French youths are reason enough to buy Come Undone, but this bittersweet film also has something poignant to say about the heartbreak of gay first love.

"Sébastien Lifshitz' Come Undone is the most mature depiction of a young gay male's romantic awakening I have ever seen."
Jan Stuart, The Advocate

Homosexuality - The Basics First

2006-12-13T02:06:00.000-08:00

In the discussion forum last week, we got asked some very basic questions about homosexuality in general, so I presume that there are still lots of people who don't understand the basics yet. Here are some things for you to read from Wikipedia.

Homosexuality

Homosexuality refers to sexual and romantic attraction between individuals of the same sex. The first recorded use of the word was in 1869 by Karl-Maria Kertbeny, but the prevalence of the concept owes much to the work of the German psychiatrist Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing and his 1886 work Psychopathia Sexualis. As such, the current use of the term has its roots in the broader 19th century tradition of personality taxonomy. These continue to influence the development of the modern concept of sexual orientation, gaining associations with romantic love and identity in addition to its original, exclusively sexual meaning.

The adjective homosexual is used for intimate relationships and/or sexual relations between persons of the same sex, who may or may not identify themselves as gay or lesbian. Homosexuality, as an identifier, is usually contrasted with heterosexuality and bisexuality. The term gay is used predominantly to refer to self-identified homosexuals of either sex. Lesbian is a gender-specific term that is only used for self-identified homosexual females. Continue reading...

You don't need to be afraid

Live long enough to find the right one

Finally, thank you to all those people who've written in to express their support. If you are a gay Tibetan or or a gay Tibet supporter and would like to be a contributor for this blog, do email us at gaytibet[a]gmail.com

P.S. Relax...

Clip from the movie The Conrad Boys.

Click here to go to the official movie site

Boys Grammer - a short film

N Sync's Lance Bass - Old news again

2006-12-12T00:45:00.000-08:00

Lance Bass on Extra

Lance at Human Rights Campaign National Dinner

Was Tintin Gay?

2006-12-11T21:16:00.000-08:00

Tintin conspiracy theories abound, and the blameless boy reporter has been interpreted as a capitalist, a fascist, an anarchist, and a very poor advertisement for Belgian tailoring

· Was Tintin a Nazi? Michael Farr, author of Tintin: the Complete Companion, said this idea dates from Hergé's decision to continue working for the Brussels paper, Le Soir, after the Nazis took it over. "He was certainly not a Nazi sympathiser in any sense, he hated fascism, but he saw his work as an essential service, like being a milkman. I think perhaps he slightly regretted it later, because it gave rise to so much misunderstanding"

· Was Tintin a capitalist? His first adventure in the Soviet Union was a swingeing attack on Bolshevism. Hergé wanted to follow it with an even more savage attack, on American capitalism, set in New York, but his editor asked for the next adventure to be in Congo - to inspire young Belgians to join the civil service there

· Was Tintin gay? Despite his wandering life with a hairy old sea captain as his closest companion, Tintin had no family background of any kind, says Michael Turner, his translator for 40 years and a friend of Hergé. "It made him a free spirit, able to go off and have adventures," he notes

· Did the Belgian surrealist artist René Magritte inspire Thomson and Thompson, the Belgian bowler hatted twin detectives? Nick Rodwell, of the Fondation Hergé in Brussels, whose wife Fanny was previously married to Hergé, thinks there may be some truth in this.
However, he says the chief inspiration was Hergé's father and uncle, who took a very Belgian walk every Sunday afternoon, always immaculately dressed.

The Guardian

Old News - Dalai Lama urges respect and tolerance for LGBTs

2006-12-11T20:56:00.000-08:00

April 3, 2006

Dalai Lama urges respect and tolerance for LGBTs
By Douglas Sanders

The Tibetan spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama, has expressed concern and his opposition towards violence and discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Fridae’s Douglas Sanders reports from the ILGA World conference in Geneva.

At the opening of the ILGA conference in Geneva, Switzerland, on March 30, the Envoy of His Holiness The Dalai Lama Kelsang Gyaltsen read the following statement on behalf of His Holiness the Dalai Lama:

His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, is the exiled head of state and spiritual leader of the Tibetan people.
“I am pleased to bring you greetings from His Holiness the Dalai Lama on the occasion of the XXIII World Conference of the International Lesbian and Gay Association.

“His Holiness welcomes the special attention given at this conference to religious tolerance and respect for diversity.

“His Holiness is greatly concerned by reports of violence and discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

“His Holiness opposes violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity and urges respect, tolerance, and the full recognition of human rights for all.”

He also expressed his best wishes for a successful conference.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, 70, is the exiled head of state and spiritual leader of the Tibetan people.

On March 28, before the main ILGA conference, a pre-conference dealt with Religion and Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity. Religion pre-conferences have been held for a number of years before ILGA World Conferences, but Muslim participation has never been as extensive as it was at the Geneva
events.

On April 1, the conference featured a plenary panel of LGBT Muslims, with speakers from Bosnia Herzegovina, Malaysia, South Africa, Turkey and the United Kingdom. Panelists described the International Initiative for Queer Muslim Visibility begun in Bosnia, and Inner Circle, a national umbrella organisation for LGBT Muslims now operating in South Africa.

Fridae columnist and retired Canadian law professor, Douglas Sanders, is attending the ILGA conference for the group Gays Without Borders: sanders_gwb a yahoo.ca.

Gay Tibet Speaks out

2006-12-11T09:59:00.000-08:00

On 9th December, two members of the Tibetan gay community, Tenzin and Jampa went on air on a Tibetan webcasting forum TIbetan Bridges and spoke openly about their lives as gays. This was the first time for the Tibetan youth community to witness such an open discussion to take place.

Homosexuality in the Tibetan community is as common as in any other community in the world but like most asian countries, Tibetans have so far refused to acknowledge the fact that we do exist. Thanks to TibetanBridges we've now been able to tell our brothers and sisters that we are here to stay.

We would like encourage other gay Tibetans to speak up and be yourself. There's nothing to fear. Lead a healthy happy life. If you are gay and would like to reach out, please write to gaytibet[a]gmail.com

Discussions on Phayul.com
Gay Tibet Topic 01
Gay Tibet Topic 02

Take-The-Test

And here are some videos

Two young boys come out

Confused

His Holiness the Dalai Lama Speaks on Gay matters

2006-11-22T01:10:00.000-08:00

by Dennis Conkin
Bay Area Reporter, June 19th, 1997

The Dalai Lama, world-revered leader of millions of Buddhists and leader of the Tibetan people, spoke out strongly against discrimination and violence against lesbians and gays during an extraordinary Wednesday, June 11 meeting in San Francisco with lesbian and gay Buddhists, clergy, and human rights activists.

The religious leader said at the press conference that he had previously been asked his views on gay marriage, and said that such social sanction of gay relationships "has to be judged in the context of the society itself and the laws and social norms." During the 45-minute meeting, the Nobel peace laureate and Buddhist religious leader voiced his support for the full recognition of human rights for all people, regardless of sexual orientation.

Buddhist sexual proscriptions ban homosexual sexual activity and heterosexual sex through orifices other than the vagina, including masturbation or other sexual activity with the hand. Buddhist proscriptions also forbid sex at certain times - such as during full and half moon days, the daytime, and during a wife's menstrual period or pregnancy - or near shrines or temples. Adultery is considered sexual misconduct, but the hiring of a female prostitute for penile-vaginal sex is not, unless one pays a third party to procure the person.

From a "Buddhist point of view," lesbian and gay sex "is generally considered sexual misconduct," the Dalai Lama told reporters at a press conference a day earlier.

However, such proscriptions are for members of the Buddhist faith - and from "society's viewpoint," homosexual sexual relations can be "of mutual benefit, enjoyable, and harmless," according to the Dalai Lama.

"His Holiness was greatly concerned by reports made available to him regarding violence and discrimination against gay and lesbian people. His Holiness opposes violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation. He urges respect, tolerance, compassion, and the full recognition of human rights for all," said Office of Tibet spokesman Dawa Tsering in a statement issued within an hour of the meeting.

Photographs of the historic event were taken, but were available only on the condition that participants' quotes be reviewed prior to publication. That condition violates journalistic canons regarding the freedom of the press. The Bay Area Reporter declined any conditions for the release of the photographs and has lodged a protest with the National Gay and Lesbian Journalism Association over their embargo.

Concern about violence

The extraordinary meeting was held at the Buddhist leader's suite at the Fairmont Hotel, on the last day of "Peacemaking: The Power of Non-Violence," a three-day conference held at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium.

Sponsored by The California Institute of Asian Studies and Tibet House, the conference featured plenary sessions, workshops, and discussions with a wide array of international, national, and local human rights and violence prevention and intervention leaders, including Pulitzer Prize-winning author Alice Walker, actor Edward James Olmos, East Timor human rights leader and Nobel laureate Jose Ramos-Horta, and others, including a representative of Nobel peace laureate and Guatemalan peace activist Rigoberta Menchu.

The meeting with lesbians and gays followed a January 1996 report by the Bay Area Reporter that detailed an open letter by Buddhist AIDS Project coordinator Steve Peskind, asking the world-revered spiritual leader of millions of Buddhists to publicly clarify his published contradictory statements on homosexuality.

Peskind said that he was motivated by concern about the violence and harm caused to lesbian and gays around the world through pronouncements against homosexual sexual activity by Buddhist religious leaders such as the Dalai Lama.

Many gay and lesbian Buddhists have reported virulenty anti-gay sentiments and teachings from religious teachers in Tibetan and other Buddhist practice lines.

A former Tibetan Buddhist monk, Peskind is a well-known figure in Buddhist and AIDS circles and is a co-founder of the San Francisco-based Shanti Project and Coming Home Hospice.

When asked last January by the Bay Area Reporter if the Dalai Lama might meet with Peskind or other lesbian and gay Buddhists leaders during the June conference, a California Institute For Integral Studies special events organizer initially indicated that such a tete-a-tete would be unlikely.

Gay and lesbian political and anti-violence leaders including Supervisor Tom Ammiano and Lester Olmstead-Rose quickly joined with Peskind, asking for the clarification of the religious leader's statements proclaiming homosexual sex as sexual misconduct.

Warm and relaxed

The possibility of organized gay and lesbian protest, including a high-profile public information ad campaign conducted in the national media such as the New York Times - and conference site picketing - was defused after the flap was discussed during a cabinet session of the Tibetan government-in-exile in Dharamsala, India, and a meeting with Peskind and others was scheduled by the Office of Tibet.

Peskind and Buddhist AIDS Project co-leader Jim Purfield were also hastily invited by Tibet House conference organizers to present a workshop on homophobia and violence with representatives of Community United Against Violence. The workshop drew an estimated 50 participants, many of them lesbian and gay. Several AIDS prevention and social service professionals who work with lesbian and gay youth also attended that workshop.

The private meeting between representatives of the lesbian and gay community and the Dalai Lama was described as "warm and relaxed."

The Dalai Lama also expressed interest in the insights of modern scientific research on homosexuality and its value in developing new understanding of Buddhist texts that nix homosexual activity, participants said.

Reiterating in the private meeting that he did not have the authority to unilaterally reinterpret Buddhist scriptures, the Dalai Lama also urged those present to build a consensus among other Buddhist traditions and communities to collectively change the understanding of the Buddhist scriptural references on sexuality for contemporary society, according to a joint statement issued by participants.

During the meeting, the Dalai Lama also candidly acknowledged that he did not know the foundations of scriptural proscriptions against sexual activity or where they originated, Peskind said.

Participants also said the Dalai Lama expressed the "willingness to consider the possibility that some of the teachings may be specific to a particular cultural and historic context."

Dogmatic response

According to longtime Buddhist observer and writer Scott Hunt, whose 1993 interview with the leader was published in the January/February 1994 Out magazine, the response of the Dalai Lama to the controversy over the teachings is significant.

Hunt said the religious leader could have put forth the underlying "moral underpinnings" of the strictures - and clearly stated the basis and positive effects of such teachings.

Instead, Hunt said, by propounding the teachings without such discussion, the Dalai Lama seems to be "engaging in dogmatic repetition" and is apparently unable to substantiate their beneficial character, and because of his response, the validity of the teachings have been cast "into serious doubt." Vigorous debate about such issues and exception to the views of religious leaders such as the Dalai Lama are neither heresy or disrespectful in Buddhist traditions.

"In fact, it's the practitioner's duty to examine dogmatic views and to determine their validity," Hunt said. During the private session, the religious teacher told the activists they would have a harder time changing Buddhist scripture and tradition than advocating for their human rights based on Buddhist principles, according to Peskind. Organized for the Office of Tibet by attorney Eva Herzer, president of the International Committee of Lawyers For Tibet, the historic meeting included Herzer, Peskind, Buddhist Peace Fellowship activist and Claremont Graduate School Professor of Education Lourdes Arguelles, and Jose Ignacio Cabezon, a gay Buddhist scholar and professor at Iliff School of Theology in Denver, Colorado.

Other participants included the Ven. K.T. Shedrup Gyatso, a fully ordained and openly gay Buddhist monk and teacher who is the spiritual director of the San Jose Tibetan Temple; International Gay And Lesbian Human Rights Commission co-chair Tinku Ali Ishtiaq; and former Congregation Sha'ar Zahav Rabbi Yoel Khan.

"There is still room for movement," Ishtiaq told the Bay Area Reporter. But the human rights activist said the Dalai Lama's support for lesbian and gay rights is "very significant."

Ishtiaq said that the Nobel laureate commands tremendous respect around the world and hoped the leader's historic statement would have "considerable impact on non-Buddhist religious traditions." A conference on Buddhism, sex, gender, and diversity issues is being planned, following the historic meeting with the world religious leader.

Forbidden Fruit in the Forbidden Land

2006-11-22T01:08:00.000-08:00

As the first western journalist to interview gays in Tibet, Garry Otton dodges Himalayan landslides and the Chinese secret police searching for the abominable homosexual living on the Roof of the World.

The Samye Ling Tibetan Centre, high up in the frozen wastes of Eskdalemuir in Dumfrieshire is not the best place to look for gay sex. The soft, enchanting voice of its senior monk assured me that while there was nothing wrong with gay sex - though being a celibate monk himself, he was probably not the best person to ask - celibacy was very much a personal choice! "Lay monks, yes, they may indulge in gay sex. It is not sex, but the attachment to it that a celibate monk seeks to overcome. For monks that don't achieve it, well that is a naughty monk!" He talks to me like a kind teacher would his novice. I'm warming to him already! He is sorry for the Dalai Lama, who has had so much pressure put on him to comment on the issue of homosexuality following the publication of my feature on gay Tibetans in Attitude magazine. "I'm glad He has taken on that responsibility. But then, He had no choice!" he adds. I hesitated at apologising for putting His Holiness through so much trouble.

Four years ago, a crack appeared in the wall. A letter found its way to Australian gay magazine, Capital Q from a Chinese man claiming he was being subjected to regular sessions of Electro-shock therapy while his lover underwent hard labour in a re-education camp. Although homosexuality is not illegal in China, they were accused of "bad morality and mental disorders," indulging in a practice that was expected to "disrupt social order and harm society." He pleaded in his letter to the outside world: "Please do not forget that gay people are suffering in China."

Gay rights don't amount to much in a country that turned its guns on its own people in Tiannanmen Square and, according to Amnesty International, executes more of its citizens every year than the rest of the world put together. They barely amount to much amongst countries busy selling China arms, equipment used for torture and shaking hands with them on lucrative business deals. So what the world cares for homosexuals living in that vast, neighbouring Himalayan region of Tibet, occupied by the People's Republic of China since 1959, is anybody's guess.

Up until now, I had assumed Tin Tin was the only gay man in Tibet. Tsering Shakya from the Tibet Information Network in London did his best to set me straight. "Before the present Dalai Lama, Tibet was ruled by the Regent Reting who was widely rumoured amongst the aristocracy to have had boyfriends. Homosexuality was also widespread in Tibetan monasteries, which, before the Chinese invaded, could house up to several thousand men and boys. Each monastery had its own tall, strong disciplinarian monks who carried huge sticks and acted as monk-policemen. They did not have a scholarly attitude or a particularly religious inclination and wore make-up. Parents would often frighten their children by warning them the monk-police would take them away. There was much gossip about their interest in young boys. The expression in Tibetan, trap'i kedmen means 'monk's wife' and refers to the effeminate boys who formed relationships with these monk-police."

In the autumn of 1996, I stuffed my rucksack with layers of clothes in preparation for those cold Himalayan nights. Hi-energy bars for when you don't fancy the plate du jour and imodium for when it doesn't fancy you! I was ready. Well, almost. Huge mountains of snow and bureaucracy have to be crossed before anyone can enter Tibet. Soldiers of the Red Army are posted on all roads in and out of Tibet's capital, Lhasa. They hug their rifles on bridges, in towns, at various posts along major routes and, of course, on the borders. Visas can be refused at the last minute. China can do without tourists snooping around, but our hard currency is as welcome to them as white gold from the Yamdrok Tso Lake. The Chinese make a compromise by forbidding entry to individual travellers and granting visas only to tour groups on a restricted itinerary. My attempt to get an individual visa was flatly refused, but I passed as a student and latched on to a group from Bangkok.

The denial of homosexuality, of course, pays lip service to the supremacy of heterosexuality. This is worldwide and man-made. When a survey conducted by the Indian Medical Association revealed an astonishing 90% of men in Delhi's Tihar prison indulged in gay sex, the Inspector General of prisons, Ms Kiran Bedi told the TV programme Eyewitness that homosexuality was not a "problem" in Indian prisons. She said: "The chronic overcrowding in the Tihar jail is a deterrent against homosexuality." She was echoed by the Family Conciliation Service Centre's Janak Raj who declared, "homosexuality is against the dignity, honour and religious sentiment of the citizen's of the country" and suggested strip lighting as a deterrent.

On the other hand, of course, such denial provides the perfect smokescreen for men eager to explore the homosexual side of their nature. In Britain there exists that same level of denial behind a different smokescreen. Married men who enjoy sex with men, or otherwise don't identify as gay at all, privately trawl the lonely hearts ads or cruise areas they know like-minded men go.

It is endemic. Whether in the dead of night or under everyone's noses like Nepal: It serves the same purpose. Just look to the east and weep, men!

Not everyone who had booked the morning flight to Lhasa on China Southwestern Airlines was able to board the plane. There were simply not enough seats for the number of people who had booked. Furious passengers stormed the check-in desk, desperately waving their tickets at anyone remotely official. Our group, patched together by a tour operator, was at the front of the scrum. On board, and ignoring the hideous in-flight recording of an American game show, I watched in awe as we skirted Everest and the tallest mountains on the planet, before touching down on the Roof of the World.

Lhasa is 37 miles from the airstrip at Gongkar. The drive into the capital is through a valley hemmed in by mountains. The sky is a blue, so deep, you half expect to see the moon and stars. In Lhasa, I found the Tibetans notoriously shy after years of surveillance by a network of spies and informers. This was in sharp contrast to the Chinese whose music and propaganda barked from distorted loudspeakers and tannoys everywhere. The Chinese have been pouring into Tibet on the back of financial incentives handed out from Beijing for years. They own most of Lhasa now, mowing down Tibetan monasteries and buildings to make way for their gawdy shops, tasteless architecture and crappy monuments to socialism. Rows of brothels line the sacred Lingkhor, a route trodden by centuries of pilgrims. At first, Lhasa is a huge disappointment: A Chinese Take-Away with as much taste as a spring roll. I spent my first day acclimatising to the lack of oxygen. I wandered down to the Chinese market in front of the Potala Palace, the former home of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Nobel Peace prize winner and 14th reincarnation of Chenrezi, the Buddha of Compassion, who now runs his Government-in Exile from India. At her stall, I found a Chinese woman selling framed pictures of Stalin and Mao Tse-tung, the late communist leader of China; who starved thousands to death in his Great Leap Forward.

My search for gay Tibetans soon presented itself in the form of a 24-year-old former refugee called Lobsang. We got chatting by a market stall. He had crossed the Himalayas to escape Chinese rule and was taught English in India before being sent back to Tibet. "Tell the outside world what is happening in my country," he begged. I promised I would if he could do something for me. So we struck a deal. Lobsang would find me a "homo-seshual."

This is my part of the deal: -
Lobsang's grandfather had been tortured and killed by the invading Chinese. He'd been spared none of the tyrannical stories of the Cultural Revolution under Chairman Mao Tse-tung and like nearly all Tibetans, yearns for a free Tibet. His feelings ran so deep, that when I played him the South American group, Mecano's "Dalai Lama" on my Walkman, he kept repeating the words Dalai Lama every time he heard it and wiped away the tears with his sleeve.

When China first invaded Tibet, they wanted to wipe out its past. Images and artefacts were either melted down to swell Beijing's coffers or sold in antique markets in Hong Kong. Tibetans were no longer allowed to wear their traditional costume, or worship freely. Fewer than 10 of its 2,463 monasteries survived. These were crazy times. Protesters were shot or imprisoned. Women had abortions forced on them or their children taken away for indoctrination in China. Most bizarrely, whole villages were ordered out into the fields to kill 'parasites.' Beating pots and pans the birds dropped dead from exhaustion. Some species were wiped out altogether. It was a task particularly resented by most Tibetans for whom all life is sacrosanct. Even children had to participate: collecting their quota of insects in jars. But without birds to eat them, the insects thrived and blighted the crops. 1960 gripped the whole of China by a terrible famine. Party cadres beat peasants who tried to steal wheat kernels from the fields. As starvation led to cannibalism, the Panchen Lama, Tibet's spiritual leader wrote to Chairman Mao imploring him to have compassion on his countrymen after witnessing peasants picking grain from horse-manure. For his impudence, Mao threw him in prison. 30 million Chinese and Tibetans perished.

Lobsang agreed to contact two "homo-seshual brothers" he knew. More remarkably, he confided, "they love each other." Further questioning revealed his interpretation of "brothers" was a little on the generous side. They were, in fact, lovers. I hoped these "homo-seshuals" wouldn't be too disappointed when they discovered all I wanted was a quick chat over a small glass of chang. At first, Lobsang suggested bringing a "homo-seshual" to the hotel, but after spotting the cameras in the lobby recording our every move, I didn't want to take any chances. It was difficult enough arranging anything outside our tour group's tight schedule, but by a strange twist of fate, the last minute cancellation of a visit to Ganden monastery left the following afternoon free. The People's Armed Police had been called in after monks refused to remove pictures of the Dalai Lama at the monastery. There had been some shootings. It was now closed to foreigners.

We arranged to meet outside the gates of the beautiful Norbulingka Park. These are the gardens of the Summer Palace from where the Dalai Lama made his impromptu escape into exile at a few minutes before 10pm on the 19th March 1959, when the Chinese began shelling Lhasa. I arrived early by rickshaw and spent some melancholy hours walking through the gardens, my head bowed deep in thought. My reverie was eventually disturbed by the sound of some giggling in the grass to my left. A small family was picnicking together, watching their three-year-old chasing butterflies. After I returned their smiles, they beckoned me to join them and pushed a cup of warm yak butter tea into my hand. I spent some time amusing them with my watercolours before engaging in conversation with the father who was learning English at a nearby school. As the sun sank behind the trees, I took a quick look at my watch, reminding me I was supposed to meet Lobsang outside by the gates of the Norbulingka Park. Before getting up to leave, I pressed my hands together and bowed my head to each family member in turn.

When I arrived at the gates, Lobsang was sitting in the shade of a willow tree looking downcast. He shrugged his shoulders in despair. His friend, Tsering, the "homo-seshual" had not turned up.

My friend, Lobsang suggested bringing his "homo-seshual" friend, Tsering, to the hotel where I was staying in Lhasa,

but after spotting the cameras in the lobby, I didn't want to take any chances. We arranged to meet the following afternoon outside the gates of the Norbulingka Park. These are the gardens of the Summer Palace from where the Dalai Lama made his impromptu escape into exile at a few minutes before 10pm, 19th March 1959, when the Chinese began shelling Lhasa. When I arrived, Lobsang was sitting in the shade of a willow tree looking downcast. His friend, Tsering, the "homo-seshual" had not turned up. Lobsang implored me to let him try again the following evening.

I was up before sunrise the next day, sitting alone on Thieves Island with my watercolours, trying to paint the Potala as the sun rose up over the mountains behind me. A Chinese motorcyclist drove by, stopping a little way up the dusty road to watch me through his rear-view mirror. Later that afternoon, lit by hundreds of flickering butter-lamps, I was led round the dark, musty corridors of the Jokhang temple before I dodged the tour guide, jumped on a rickshaw and headed back to the hotel lobby to greet Lobsang. He looked quite flustered. He couldn't find Tsering, the "homo-seshual" anywhere. He had met up with him at his usual watering hole the previous evening, but one drink had turned to another, and Tsering staggered home drunk. Nobody had seen him since. "Where does he drink?" I asked, settling for the discovery of a Tibetan gay bar. Lobsang described a restaurant. A gay restaurant, then… and pushed Lobsang into a taxi. We turned up at a dark candlelit shack, a mile or so away from the Potala. Half a dozen Tibetans were sitting round tables, drinking by candlelight. My eyes met a craggy-faced yak herdsmen-type in a shabby suit and hair like Jo Brand. I grit my teeth and returned his smile. From a dark corner a young man in tight denim trousers, displaying the international language of camp, sashayed up to our table to speak to Lobsang in Tibetan. Although he looked about 15, Tish was an alcoholic 23-year-old and a close friend of Tsering the "homo-seshual." I clocked the bitten fingernails and nervous giggle and asked him if he ever had a boyfriend. Lobsang blew the plot and told Tish I wanted to know if he was a "homo-seshual." This is an insult in Tibet. Tish was horrified. He shook his head and looked down at his drink in embarrassment.

I had brought with me some international gay-lifestyle magazines, including Out and Attitude, and - rather carelessly - passed them round for everyone to see. The air was filled with gasps, guffaws and loud exclamations. A couple of females ran around enthusiastically drawing everyone's attention to some boy-babe pin-up. Once Lobsang had established my credentials to the curious, food was rushed to our table whilst someone was dispatched to search for Tsering the "homo-seshual." Following Lobsang's example, I rolled up the tsampa (barley flour) in my left hand and dipped it in the bowl of yak meat momos (ravioli). In between mouthfuls, I sipped hot yak butter tea from a cup, which Tibetans have an annoying habit of refilling. I thought, if they didn't stop, they would get my Linda Blair impression, covering them in rancid, half-digested, yak butter puke. Believe me. Yak butter is not to everyone's taste! At best it is like a broth, but can be very salty. For authenticity, this was dressed with a few yak hairs.

Before I finished my meal, Lobsang said Tish was going to take us in the taxi to find Tsering. Expressing much regret at not being able to finish my yak butter tea, we drove to another part of old Lhasa and stopped outside a long staircase leading to a flat above some Chinese shops. Tsering wasn't at home. We stopped further up the road at another bar. He wasn't there, either. Before we had a chance to drive off, a large Tibetan woman called Dolma in shocking pink-rock lipstick and blue eye shadow stormed out, waving to us to come in. "Tsering is coming!" she yelled in Tibetan. Dolma ushered us into the dark, candlelit interior and sat us at a table amongst another small, mixed group of Tibetans drinking beer. After a few minutes, the door opened, and Tsering walked in with a gay friend. Tsering was a slim 25-year-old in tight-fitting dungarees and a white polo neck. His shock of black hair fell over his face meeting his dark, neat, plucked eyebrows. Tsering spoke no English, but politely introduced me to his shy, 29-year-old friend, Buchung. Somehow, word had got round that I was "helping Tibetans" and with something approaching haste, Dolma bustled us through a curtain flap into a tiny room at the back. I handed the gay magazines, bulging with the affluence of western gay culture, to Tsering and Buchung. Half a dozen or so other interested Tibetans craned their necks to see. Only Tsering and Buchung turned the pages in total silence. I explained to them how I wanted people in the west to know how Tibetan gays lived. Tsering looked at me with piercing dark eyes and said in Tibetan: "I would love to be free to come and tell you."

Tsering knocked back his beer. The strain of gay life in Tibet takes its toll. Alcohol abuse is common. I wanted to know what Tsering thought of the habit of men and boys holding hands in Tibet? He gave me a knowing smile. "They love each other, of course. That is why they do it." I advised him that the Dalai Lama had spoken out in support of homosexual relationships during a tour of Sweden in the summer of 1996, saying: "There are no acts of love between adults that one can or should condemn." I discretely produced a picture of the Dalai Lama from my pocket. Tourists have been arrested for showing his picture. The penalties to Tibetans found in possession of one are even more severe. "Do you know what is the greatest prize in the world anyone can be awarded?" I asked, making a wide gesture to emphasis my point. "It is called the Nobel Peace Prize. And the Dalai Lama has been awarded that prize." In a touching ceremony, Tsering held the picture to his forehead and passed it round for everyone to do the same. Tears filled their eyes. It would have been callous to mention the Dalai Lama's remarks in his book Beyond Dogma where he described some gay sex acts as "sexual misconduct… improper" and "inappropriate." These remarks, a senior monk at Samye Ling Tibetan Retreat in Eskdalemuir in Dumfrieshire, later told me, "were misunderstood."

In 1997, The story of my experiences in Tibet appealed to James Collard, editor of the UK gay lifestyle magazine, Attitude and now editor of American magazine, Out and were printed in Attitude. Following its publication, a statement was issued by the Dalai Lama's office: "His Holiness was greatly concerned by reports made available to him regarding violence and discrimination against gay and lesbian people. His Holiness opposes violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation. He urges respect, tolerance, compassion, and the full recognition of human rights for all." He went on to issue a statement that urged further study of human sexuality by Buddhists with a view to arriving at a new interpretation of Buddhist scripture. At Samye Ling, in Scotland, the senior monk welcomed the Dalai Lama's statement but confessed there was "no responsibility here" to explore any new interpretations.

For Tibetans, Buchung and Tsering were well dressed. Selling your body for sex is easy in Lhasa. The extent of prostitution amongst gay men in Tibet might, in part, be explained by the attitudes to homosexuality here. Although Tsering had been with his boyfriend for eight years, he had frequently operated as a rent-boy, but was keen to express with indignation that he had never slept with Chinese. "Never!" Tsering assured me there were no gay bars, as such, in Lhasa. "That would be too dangerous." He claimed to know 18 other gays, and would be happy for me to meet them all if I had more time. "We meet in each others houses." Much like Britain in the fifties. But then I remembered Lobsang telling me how, for Tibet, the clock had stopped at a few minutes before 10pm on 19th March 1959 when the Dalai Lama fled into exile. As a mark of protest, and much to the annoyance of the Chinese, Tibetans kept stopping the clocks at that time.

I wanted to know how Tsering and Buchung met guys. "We go out to bars and discos looking for Smart Guys," said Buchung. Smart Guys? I was left juggling with a mental picture of John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. "Guys dressed to impress... Going out to pick up... Looking for sex: Smart Guys." With the Tibetan beer kicking in, I asked Tsering if Smart Guys liked to fuck him? They did. And without condoms? Yes. But usually just ejaculating between his legs. Both he and Buchung had occasional run-ins with the Public Security Bureau. Tsering admitted to having been arrested on a number of occasions. "I am not afraid," he said. "They just let me go. Sometimes I dress up, in clothes of a woman. I do not do that now. It is too dangerous. It is much harder now. I would be punished severely." Everyone agreed that the authorities treat Tibetans roughly. Tsering lifted his head to show me a fading bruise. "Smart Guy," he said, pointing to his eye. The life of a gay Tibetan was indeed very hard.

Suddenly, the curtain separating us from the rest of the bar was pulled open and two Chinese men in suits burst in. In clipped English, one said to me sharply: "Can I be of assistance? I speak English." My notepad slipped between my legs to the floor. The informers had been busy. I explained a little helplessly how I wanted to find homosexuals. "There are no homosexuals in Tibet…" he said brusquely, his comrade flicking through a copy of Out. "It is a western disease." I nodded, pretending he was making sense. Only Lobsang understood him, but everyone else knew why he was here. I was a foreigner. Tibetans have only recently been allowed to talk to us. "This does not happen in Tibet," he said again, laughing at the pictures. "You won't see any here." Tsering sat bolt upright in his chair. "I am a homosexual," he said proudly. "And I am Tibetan." It was the perfect delivery. Only a true queen could do it. I was waiting for the cheers, but there was only a timid silence before one of the Chinese shook his head and laughed. "I tell you. There are no homosexuals in Tibet." To everyone's relief, he left through the curtain flap, dismissing Tsering with a wave of his hand. "He is no good. He is mad. That man is crazy."

Thankfully, without any experience or history of gay activism in Tibet, these officials had no reason to take us seriously. As far as they were concerned, we were all crazy. They might do these strange things in the west, but only madmen would attempt them in Tibet. I handed Tsering and Buchung a parcel of clothes, before everyone hurriedly left through the curtain flap back into the main bar.

As we escaped into the street, I caught sight of a group of soldiers marching toward us and froze. Like so much of the People's Liberation Army, they were just teenagers. They filed past us as I climbed into a battered taxi. Tsering ran up to me and squeezed my hand. He had had a chance to inspect the collection of western clothes and was trying to say "thank you" in broken English.

Early next morning four of us, including a driver and official guide set off by road across the Himalayas on the same route out of Lhasa the Dalai Lama took when he fled Tibet. The crumbling roads became more and more treacherous as we climbed to 18,000 feet above sea level. Somewhere, high on the mountain pass and in the dead of night, we broke down. The electrics had packed up on the Land Rover and we had no lights. I had been trying to sleep under an old yak skin, but now had to hang out of the window shining a torch to light the way. Himalayan nights are eerie. It is the sheer vastness of it all. I have never before seen so many stars in the sky. The Land Rover trundled slowly forward, following a light too dim to expose the sheer drop on the side of the mountain. We finally reached a hostel at the side of the road and were offered a small outhouse to sleep. I was very tired. Although I didn't suffer altitude sickness as bad as some, I fell into an uneasy sleep, my dreams muddled and strange.

The next morning I took a welcome bath in hot springs. I couldn't help noticing how the Tibetans quickly cover themselves when bathing near strangers. I know for a fact they harbour no such prudery amongst themselves. At the side of the road I caught sight of a group of Tibetan men swimming in a lake. Not only were they completely naked, one man lay on top of another in full view of any passing trucks.

Along the way, if bridges had collapsed in the monsoon rains, we just plunged the vehicle into raging torrents until the water splashed over the bonnet and poured in through the doors to reach the other side. Eventually, we were stopped by a serious landslide and had to admit defeat. We abandoned the Land Rover at the side of the road and bribed a truck driver to take us as far as he could to the border.

On the way, I met a group of young, celibate monks who, through a translator, talked to me about life in a monastery. After some initial shyness, they admitted that some monks got sex "between the legs." But not any of them, of course! This peculiar practice conveniently circumvents actual penetration of a hole, which Buddhists see as a clear contravention of their vows. I later sought advice from a very unlikely source: A celibate monk - of all people - from the Samye Ling Tibetan Centre, high up in the frozen wastes of Eskdalemuir in Dumfrieshire. "No, there is nothing wrong with gay sex," he assured me, "not for lay monks. Celibacy is a personal choice," he told me. "It is not sex, but the attachment to it that celibate monks seek to overcome. For monks that don't achieve it, well that is a naughty monk!" He was also very sorry for the Dalai Lama, whom he believed had had so much pressure put on him to comment on the issue of homosexuality following the release of my feature on gay Tibetans. "I'm glad He has taken on that responsibility. But then, He had no choice!" I apologised for putting His Holiness through so much trouble. For the group of naughty monks, I left them a small short-wave radio, which I am pleased to say, will give them the chance to hear something besides the infernal propaganda delivered by those ubiquitous Chinese tannoys. Perhaps news that their God-king is returning to a free Tibet and Tsering is hoisting the Freedom flag - that is to say, everyone's freedom - from the highest place in the world.

Certain changes have been made to protect the lives of individuals' identities.

Written by Garry Otton

Seven Inches in Tibet

2006-11-21T10:06:00.000-08:00

Durian Gray

Forget Lost Horizon--it's more like Lost Weekend for the lost generation in Lhasa. "Are you ready?" blasts the sound system promptly at 10 pm--and the crowd of young twenty-somethings shouts in unison,

"Yo! Hey! Disco! Disco!".

Benny, the beaming DJ from Chengdu cranks up the sound, the strobe lights flash and the dance floor fills up.

It's Friday night in Lhasa at the Top End Disco. The crowd is about 60% male, peach-fuzz faces and slant eyes, cuteness to die for.

It's a rice-queen's wet dream--although strictly speaking Tibetans do not eat much rice, but subsist on yak meat, potatoes, noodles and tsampa (roasted barley flour). Like their peers anywhere else in the world, these guys and girls (there are even a few drag queens), just wanna have fun.

You be the man!

There are virtually no foreigners--and being the only "European" in the hall, guys come up to invite me to join them--drinks (Pabst Blue Ribbon, Lhasa Beer or Coca-Colas) are on them.

I'm dragged to the dance floor to join their little circle, pay for my cab fare back to the hotel--and if you're lucky, sometimes you might get someone to go back with you after hand-holding, cuddling and dancing in the dark.

One well-built Tibetan student, on holiday from the University of Beijing, asked me to do a slow dance with him--pressing me up against his sweaty, barrel chest, and whispered, "You be the man."

Gay readers of Heinrich Harrer's Seven Years in Tibet must have been heartened by the author's disclosure that in Tibet homosexuality is very common.

It is even condoned as giving proof that women play no part in the life of those monks that indulge in it." The former SS Austrian Alpinist (portrayed by Brad Pitt on the screen) who fled to Tibet from a British WWII internment camp in India, also admitted finding the Dalai Lama's brother an "attractive youth". So just as Harrer doesn't like to talk about his Nazi past, he may also have had other secrets in the closet. In any case, gay travellers will want to take their asses over the Himmies to look for their own seven inches in Tibet.

From Kathmandu to Lhasa

From Nepal you have to join a group travelling from Kathmandu to Lhasa, by air or overland, as individual travel is not allowed. Even in a Land Cruiser it is an arduous journey that could take three to five days. Crossing the Friendship Bridge from the Nepal border into Tibet and climbing steep cliffs into what appears to be a Chinese landscape painting with pagodas and cascading waterfalls, I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. Is this really Tibet--or is it a matte backdrop for Lost Horizon?

On our first night out, our Tibetan guide and cars had not yet arrived from Lhasa, so we were obliged to spend the night in the seedy border town of Zhangmu which, with its vice and (female) prostitution, has earned itself the reputation of being the Tijuana of Tibet. However, that could mean fun for some. We spent the night at the Gang Gyen hotel with its cute, friendly and obliging Nepalese staff. There is even a disco on the premises and a public bath. The Tibetan bath attendant was happy to show off his large tap in the shower stall, and was more than generous with the copious amounts of shower cream.

On the third day we detoured off the main road past lunar landscape to the Sakya Monastery where the flirty non-celibate monks challenge a visitor to arm-wrestling with their bare muscular arms. Unlike Thai monks, these guys didn't seem to mind an arm around the waist. By evening we reach Shigatse, the second largest city in Tibet and which resembles generic Central Asia with its broad poplar lined boulevards and bazaars tended by Muslim merchants.

Practising English Tibetan style

We share a hotel with a troupe of equestrian acrobats who perform in a field the next day. The well-built, young horsemen are very friendly and surprisingly a few speak some English. One shows me their stables at dusk and takes me back to his room to "practice English". One of the first things he wants to learn, he indicates, is the word for lips as he plants his on my kisser.

On the fifth day we finally reach Lhasa. Aside from the fabulous, looming Potala Palace, considered one of the wonders of the world. Lhasa looks uniformly un-exotic until we reach the old Tibetan "quarter". Signs are in Chinese and the little English signage that appears everywhere is "OK", indicating karaoke. Across from the Potala a neon sign blinks "JJ Disco" a reminder that distractions such as discos, karaoke, bowling, brothels and roller rinks are omnipresent in Lhasa.

In contrast to South Asian countries, Tibet, as the rest of China, there is little social restriction against male and female mixing in public--and the barbers giving men's haircuts are all female, and many double as "masseuses". With the large contingent of PLA soldiers stationed there, Lhasa has more (female) sex-workers per capita than Bangkok!

If you want to make friends in Lhasa, it's probably a good idea to start out with your guide whose English skills and knowledge of Lhasa would be pretty good. Many of the guides--mostly young men in their early 20s--were schooled in India, and after graduation returned to Tibet to find employment, but the Chinese authorities are now clamping down on the Indian-educated returnees who are loyal to the DL (Dalai Lama), considered a "splittist" by Beijing.

As you circumambulate around the Barkhor, you'll also find a few merchants who also speak English. The public billiard tables are good places to find guys (though they won't speak English) and the blaring videotheque cafés are also good for cuddling and pick-ups. One guy came back with me to my room from one of these video joints and another followed me upstairs to the toilet for some hanky-panky.

Free show in the locker room.

Another venue to meet Tibetan guys is the indoor public swimming pool. You can get a free show in the male locker room where guys undress without covering themselves and shower naked in the open stalls. I couldn't help noticing a couple of well-hung Tibetans, and a muscular, off-duty Chinese cop. The cops in Lhasa are recruited young, and many look like Boy Scouts in uniform and are not averse to snuggling. Inside the pool, it is easy to make new friends, and phone numbers are exchanged beside tables where food and drink is served. Swimsuits and towels can be hired, if you don't bring your own.

One thing not to bring is pictures of the DL. Photos of the Nobel Peace Laureate are, of course, forbidden by the Chinese in Tibet. A few years ago, His Holiness made a disparaging comment about homosexuality in San Francisco, of all places. But the insensitive comment coming from a man known as an apostle of peace caused such an uproar in the international gay community that it was "retracted for further review". Buddhism, particularly in Tibet and Japan has a long homosexual tradition in the monasteries. Nevertheless, despite the more open-mindedness of Buddhism compared to most religions, homosexuality is not one of the twelve steps, "unless," as Boy George commented (having dabbled in Buddhism himself) "you're going backwards in high-heeled stillettos."

If you go to Tibet

The politically correct who boycott Burma may also balk at visiting Tibet. However, few Tibetans would discourage tourists from visiting their homeland. It is relatively easy to join a group from Kathmandu for the one hour flight to Lhasa or 3-5 day overland journey--either way it will cost you about $300 to get there. One reliable Kathmandu travel agency that organizes groups or can put you in touch with one is Adventure Tibet, e-mail: advtibet@wlink.com.np

It is also possible to fly to Lhasa from Bangkok via Chengdu with a special Tibet permit. From Chengdu the airfare is $150, but you still need to join a group.

Tourist infrastructure is very basic. Tibet is not for hypochondriacs or those finicky about cleanliness and hygiene. It takes a few days to adjust to the altitude of Lhasa (3,650m; 11.970 ft) with its atmosphere of only 68% oxygen. If you have a history of heart or breathing problems, consult your physician before departure. English is not widely understood. In Lhasa, Mandarin is the lingua franca.

Although politically part of China, Lhasa is a far cry from Beijing or Shanghai where gay activity is now coming openly out of the closet, and is tolerated by the authorities. The tourist infrastructure is still very primitive outside Lhasa, which boasts a few 3-star hotels. There are also a number of backpacker hotels that offer budget accommodation.

The best places to stay are the Tibetan, family-owned hotels near the Jokhang (the so-called Tibetan Quarter), and the Hotel Kyichu where one can find recent copies of Genre and Men's Health in the lobby is a particular favourite of the writer, and no problem with visitors.

Cruising

The park and open-air market across from the Potala Palace could be cruisy around late afternoon to sunset. Hang out around the pool tables, you'll be sure to make some new friends. Look for the martial and nomadic Khampas, brawny hunks in red-tasselled braids which they wrap around their head. Tibetans, like other Mongolian races, are generally hairless and beardless, if that turns you on.

Monasteries are, naturally, the logical place to meet those queer monks that Harrer writes about, although times (and mores) have changed since the Chinese occupation. The large monasteries are now tourist traps and you'll probably be herded through by your guide after paying $5.00 admission. If you want to meet Tibetan monks, you'd be better off going to India or Nepal